Source: qqmoarz

14 May 122 tastytofusoup Permalink

moementm:

‘EEEEEY JOHNNY WHO’S A LOVEABLE SQUISHY TANK YES YOU ARE YES YOU AREE

Source: moementm

8 May 510 sosungalittleclodofclay Permalink

tothenow:

-

Source: TotesYourMate

8 May 206502 gentlemandeerlord Permalink

dorkly:

Nerd Rage: Citation Needed

8 May 1357 dorkly Permalink

erosboros:

Deer with Magpies (by paulafrenchp)

Source: Flickr / frenchp

8 May 8362 gentlemandeerlord Permalink

bogleech:

what-are-you-doing-here:

goddessofcheese:

brofligate:

did-you-kno:

Source

There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.

CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH

This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.

She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death.  Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at.  Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.

Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.

Ching Shih said fuck that.

She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.

For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.

tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.

i will be as badass as she

You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.

She won being a pirate.

She got history’s high score.

Source: did-you-kno

7 May 107879 tastytofusoup Permalink

jaypii:

thedancave:

postapocalypticfashion:

When Aisha Tyler was selected to be the presenter for the 2012 Ubisoft E3 press conference, she received an unprecedented flood of hate from trolls who complained about the fact that she knew nothing about gaming. Too bad haters didn’t do their homework first, because as it turns out Aisha Tyler knows more about gaming that all of us put together. Her Facebook response was awesome and predictably went viral. In case you missed it, here’s her masterpiece. Haters, take note.

Dear Gamers

I play.

I’ve played since I was a little kid. 

Since I begged my dad to buy me a Nintendo LCD Donkey Kong, Jr.

Since I blew through three weeks’ allowance playing Defender at the laundromat.

Since you were a twinge in the left side of your daddy’s underoos.

I’ve been a gamer since I made friends with a girl in the 5th grade just to get at her Atari.

Since I missed the bus playing Galaga after school.

Since I missed the start of Return of the Jedi playing Tempest in the theater lobby.

You think you know. You don’t know.

I’ve been a gamer since before you could read.

Since I aced midterms after staying up all night playing Evil Tetris.

Since I became dorm champ at Leisure Suit Larry.

Since I double-wielded on Time Crisis 3 at Fuddrucker’s.

I was a voice in not one, but two major video game titles.

I hosted the Reach Beta tutorial.

I was a Gears of War superfan panelist at ComicCon.

I hosted the Ubisoft presser at E3 2012.

I didn’t do any of it for the money. 

For most I got paid next to nothing, and for some, less than that.

I did it because I love video games.

Because I’ve dreamt since I was a kid of being in one of the games I love.

How many games have you done voices for?

How many cons have you repped at?

Your buddy’s Unreal Tournament garage deathmatch doesn’t count.

I go to E3 each year because I love video games.

Because new titles still get me high.

Because I still love getting swag.

Love wearing my gamer pride on my sleeve.

People ask me what console I play.

Motherfucker, ALL of them.

I get invited to E3 because real gamers know I’m a gamer.

I don’t do it for the money.

I have plenty of money.

I don’t do it for the fame.

Fuck fame.

I do it because I love video games.

I don’t give out my gamertag because I don’t want a mess of noob jackholes lining up

to assassinate me on XBL. 

I don’t give a shit what you think about my gamerscore.

I don’t play to prove a point. 

I don’t play to be the best.

I play because I love it.

I play.

I’ve been playing my whole life. 

I’m not ashamed of it.

I don’t apologize for it.

It’s who I am.

To the core.

I’m a gamer.

So to all the haters out there who claim I don’t play;

To the GAF dicks, 

Gamespot trolls, 

To every illiterate racist douchebag on Youtube:

Flame away. Go nuts.

Post every jackass comment your heart desires.

I’ll still be playing when your mom’s kicked you out of her basement

and you have to sell your old-ass console

and get a real job.

For now, I say to you respectfully,

and I mean this from the bottom of my heart,

GFYS.

My hands hurt from all the applause

The fact that I could hear her voice in my head as I read this, made this even more amazing. 

Source: postapocalypticfashion

3 May 20808 girlsonxbox Permalink

foxbabies:

diabeetus01:

You know what I just realized? Patrick killed people.

Patrick killed a lot of people.

and then things got unholy

Source: pokec0re

29 April 191871 angels-and-angles Permalink